25-Foot Sailboat: Are We Closer at Sea or on Land?
PublishedApril 10, 2026
I, Bernie Harberts, did not use generative AI to write or illustrate this article. Spell check and grammar check, yes. AI, no.
My wife Julia and I have spent the last two weeks anchored off Shackleford Banks on our 25-foot sailboat Grit. We came here to learn more about how wild horses interact when they’re largely left alone by humans.
Grit anchored off Shackleford Banks. She’s a 1992 Nimble 24. When not out cruising, she lives in our barn.Julia observing two wild horses on Shackleford BanksThe rising sun as viewed through the port over my berth
The morning before Julia headed home, we sat in the cockpit and reflected on the difference between spending time together on our boat versus time together in our 500-square-foot cabin. We already felt close as a couple, but Julia had some insights on how living even closer together had shaped our relationship.
Audio recording notes: The recording opens with scraping sounds. That’s the sound of my spoon scraping my bowl as Julia and I finish our oatmeal.
Listen to Julia and I compare living in a small boat to living in a small cabin.
Read More About Our Adventure Aboard Grit
What it’s actually like to live in eight feet of sailboat: Life in Eight Feet
Autogenerated transcript. May contain errors. Refer to the audio for accuracy.
Bernie: So say that again about the proximity thing of a small boat versus a small cabin.
Julia: Well, just what I noticed was that it’s certainly not a big space to live in, but it’s bigger than this — like 400 square feet plus. We have the outdoors to go in, and our doors are always open. We tend to both have a lot of different jobs on the farm. So I might be up hanging horses in the morning, and you may be building a fire, or you may be up the mountain on the tractor, and I’m feeding the horses dinner. So for a lot of the day, we’re farther apart from each other. And then sometimes because of that, in the evening, we’ll feel a need to actually physically touch — we’ll sit on the couch.
Bernie: Funny how you say that. Like sitting right on top of me. Squeezing in, touching you, giving you a head rub. Let’s get close now.
Julia: Yeah, it’s much closer. And then on the sailboat, what I notice is you’ve got eight feet. Part of the reason is to keep the boat balanced — everybody’s going to want to heel to one side.
Bernie: Which happens if we both sit on the same berth. It doesn’t feel right, tips over.
Julia: Right. But the other reason is almost like — to spread out the fact that you’re living in eight feet constantly. You just kind of shift the proximity over a period of time living in a small space, and you don’t really feel the need to physically touch because you’re in need of a little bit of your own space. So it seems like in the end it might work out to the same equation of proximity.
Bernie: Yeah, because if you measured it, in the cabin we’ll be really far away, and then really close — right on top of each other. Sitting on the couch, your head in my lap, me giving you a head rub. Or you sitting on top of me at breakfast. That doesn’t happen here.
Julia: Or watching a movie, lying on top of each other almost, dog in between. Here you don’t feel that need to be right on top of someone because you’re already so close to them all day.
Bernie: All day long and all night. That’s fascinating. The other interesting thing — you mentioned getting out on the farm. In the cabin there’s a natural pull, and we’ve seen it with the horses. That mare standing by our foal that was sleeping, and all of a sudden the mare was like, get up. It’s natural for two people. I certainly feel it sometimes in the cabin — there’s just the presence of another person, and I’m sure it’s mutual. It’s like, I just need a little bit of distance. I’m going to go out on the porch a second. I’m going to walk into the other room. And it’s not because you want to get away from somebody, you just need a little space. You can’t do that on the boat. You’re so close. It is interesting how it all plays out. God, the cabin’s going to seem so huge after this.
Julia’s side of the voyage at Saddle Under the Stars:
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