Woody and Maggie

Journey's End – and an Offer

Hitching-up-time (but not much longer)
Outside Artesia, New Mexico

Holy wagon tongue Pilgrims, it’s happening! Yep, together, we’ve traveled 2500 miles, 13 months, through 10 states and 4 seasons. We’ve cooked Kansas rattlesnakes , slogged through snow and gone down a mosasaur’s throat. And now our Canada to Mexico wagon voyage is coming to an end.

Mexico is coming into view. From here in Artesia, New Mexico it’s under 200 miles, or 4 weeks by wagon, away.

200 miles from… Continue reading

UNC-TV to Feature "Too Proud to Ride a Cow" Book

“Too Proud to Ride a Cow”
By Mule Across America

UNC-TV will feature “Too Proud to Ride a Cow”, the account of Bernie’s last coast-to-coast mule voyage, on “North Carolina Bookwatch”. Click here to see when you can hear Bernie explain how, as an author, mule Woody wasn’t the only thing he had to tie down…

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Bernie's Appearances

Bernie and his critters often take their show on the road. Browse the dates and times below a program near you.

Product Review
“Too Proud to Ride a Cow”
Hill City, SD


*Tuesday, April 13
“Hoofing It: By Mule Across North Carolina”
E. Lincoln Fire Dept.
on S. Pilot Knob Road
Denver, NC
7:00 pm
The Friends of the Florence Soule Shanklin Memorial Library and the NC Humanities Council present “Hoofing It”, the North Carolina segment of Bernie’s coast-to-coast… Continue reading

A Copy of "Too Proud" Straight off the Mule Wagon

Polly and Bernie enjoy a copy of “Too Proud”
Hill City, SD

Adventure, mules, philosophy, adrenaline and companionship – all just a click and a book away. That’s right, “Too Proud to Ride a Cow”, the account of mule Woody’s 3,500-mile coast-to-coast adventure, is ready for ordering. Polly sure enjoyed her sneak peak.
Now take yours…

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Preview Woody and Maggie Children’s Book

“Woody and Maggie Walk Across America” is a children’s book that features something unusual about each state I visited in my 12-month cross-country ride with my mule Woody and pony Maggie. I wrote half of it and Woody and Maggie handled the rest. If young readers don’t remember Arizona for the saguaro cactus, they’ll remember it for the naked green giants that can’t get their shoes back on.

Arizona: What I saw (Left) and what Woody and Maggie saw (Right)… Continue reading

Title Suggestions With Mule Woody's Comments – Southern Pines, NC

Thanks everybody for your help. The title suggestions are rolling in! Here they come…in no particular order. Keep sendin’ em and I’ll keep posting em.

10 Legged Journey: Woody, Maggie and Me.
Many Hearts for Ten Legs
The Mule That Walked to the Center of the World
10 Legs, Will Travel
Are we There Yet?
From Atlantic to Pacific with Oats for Fuel
Half-assed Journey Across America
Long Miles with Long Ears
Bullet Holes & Bumblebees: A Story of… Continue reading

Journey's End: Making the Other Side – San Diego, CA

Joining waters

After thirteen months on the road, mornings start like this.

I draw the needle from inside my hat band, thread it with dental floss (waxed) and suture the newest rip in my britches’ seat.Then I tuck my shirt in with greatest care, making sure the tail reaches well south of the repair in case of floss failure. I’ve long given up underwear. I’m down to an extra blue shirt, two bandanas and a pair of socks, none of… Continue reading

Busted flat in California – Salton Sea, CA

The potato truck roared toward us and left Maggie with one decision, leap into the irrigation canal or plunge down the road bank.

Maggie chose dust over drowning, took her buggy airborne and belly skidded to halt in the date palm grove.

The truck billowed by a flattened Maggie and Woody just stared. She lay there in the dirt and palm fronds, wrapped in tugs and breaching like a poorly tied hay bale. Then out shot her front legs and… Continue reading

Salvation Mountain – Slab City, CA

LOVE” rose huge and pink from the airborne desert sands. Above it in red the words “GOD IS” and crowning the three worlds, like a s sabre stabbing a cake, a telephone pole cross.

I rode closer.

I’d been in the desert four days. I was down to five pounds and four gallons of desert currency; grain and water. But this I had to investigate.

I reined Woody to the base of the mountainous explosion of wind… Continue reading

Along the American Sahara – Cactus, CA


They once called it The American Sahara, that line of sand dunes that drifts from Yuma toward the Salton Sea.

Then some geographically correct person re-baptized them the Imperial Dunes. As in the Imperial Valley where they grow truck loads of lettuce and alfalfa. Suddenly the dunes sounded tamer. Smaller. It sissifies mountain of sand to re-name it after a garden, even if it’s one of the nation’s biggest carrot producers.

But just what is large? Does the name… Continue reading

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