Find…

CHIMPS: Two Mules Spend the Night at the Chattanooga Zoo

Published August 17, 2004

I, Bernie Harberts, did not use generative AI to write or illustrate this article. Spell check and grammar check, yes. AI, no.

Out here on a mule, you never know where you’ll sleep. But don’t worry. You’ll always find a place to stay.

Last night it was the Chattanooga Zoo.

I was riding Woody and Maggie through Chattanooga’s rougher sections where guys in phone booths were flashing me finger signs that to my ignorant eyes spelled something in gang-talk. I’m not much on sign language but it didn’t spell “I love you.”

Then the Parker family flagged me down in front of a gas station. We talked. They offered me a drink and asked what else I wanted.

“What I’d really like is a place to put up my horses for the night,” I told them.

“Fat chance in downtown Chattanooga,” I thought, recalling those guys with flashing fingers.

“Drop in at the zoo and ask for Darde Long,” Mrs. Parker told me.

That’s how I got to spend the night in the zoo. See how happy coincidences lead to lodging?

Mule Woody eating from a bucket labeled CHIMPS at the Chattanooga Zoo, August 2004.

The Chattanooga Zoo is located smack downtown, and perhaps that’s what lends it the intimate atmosphere. It’s not a big new zoo sprawling over old cotton fields made to look like African bushveld. No, it’s got that handcrafted feel of a purpose-built habitat snugged into available space. The center is occupied by a large turnout area for mountain lions and chimpanzees. The walls are contoured cement built to mimic rock. Glass viewing ports — about an inch thick, I checked — sit at eye level with the animals. Because watcher and watched are on the same level, it’s hard to tell one from the other.

Darde’s run the zoo for years, so she knows how to make new animals feel at home.

“You’re welcome to tie them up out back,” she told me.

Then I discovered the tent. Off to the side sat a red-striped canvas top that looked like a circus tent. A few metal bleachers stood under it, used for educational classes. There was a wooden bench too, and I unrolled my bedroll under that. The luxury of not pitching a tent.

That night I staked the horses out on long tethers. All night, shrieks and screams from four continents kept us company. Hyenas from Africa. Macaws from South America. Sirens from downtown.

Around dawn I heard a starving Pennsylvania mule: Woody. I brought him into the tent for a handful of grain, a proven way to buy some early morning silence.

Soon after, Darde’s helpers showed up to rotate the animals for the day. Mia, the rescued mountain lion who’d spent the night in the free-roaming pen, was replaced by chimpanzees. My docile mounts were replaced by idiots. Woody and Magnolia took to plunging and snorting and rearing back on the bleachers, threatening to skid the metal seating right out from under the tent. The chimpanzees on the other side of the glass just kept on scratching, eating bananas and examining their fingernails.

Woody and Magnolia kept up their fine riot at the primates’ feeding habits. I lost my patience and broke out some horse feed, compliments of the Chattanooga Zoo. That settled them immediately.

But I got the last laugh.

Right there on Woody’s feed bucket, written in great blue letters: CHIMPS.

I’d like to thank Darde Long and everyone at the Chattanooga Zoo for putting us up overnight. You really helped us out in a pinch. If any of you readers make it to Chattanooga, drop in for a visit. They have a fantastic collection of cats, including my favorite, Mia the mountain lion. Many of these animals were rescued from lives of neglect at the hands of private owners. I think it’s great the zoo has combined education and animal welfare with our curiosity to view these magnificent creatures up close. You’ll come away feeling as I did: well restored.

Thanks again, Chattanooga Zoo, for the cries from four continents.

More on the Atlantic to Pacific mule ride.

Let's Keep in Touch

Sign up for The River, the RiverEarth newsletter, for occasional doses of rambling and homestead life. Plus you'll get a free copy of my 155-page illustrated ebook 19 Million Mule Steps.

Just enter your email below and hit Subscribe.