Warning! Do Not Use Compressor As Breathing Machine

I, Bernie Harberts, did not use generative AI to write or illustrate this article. Spell check and grammar check, yes. AI, no.

I took a break from signing copies of my new book Two Mules to Triumph to run down to Lowe’s to pick up some bolts for a wagon I’m getting fixing up for my next mule ramble.

While I was at Lowe’s, I took a detour through the tool section to check out the saws, drills and hammers. As I was heading out, empty-handed (I have all the tools I need), a label stuck the side of an air compressor caught my eye. It read, “Warning! Do Not Use Compressor as Breathing Machine!”

I thought, damn, who would be that stupid?

Since we live in a lawsuit-happy, you-gotta-be-advised-so-you-don’t-sue-us world, I figured there would be a warning label attached. But, nope, there wasn’t. I didn’t buy the compressor (my old one works fine) and as I drove home I couldn’t get that silly-ass warning label out of my mind. Warning! Do Not Use Compressor as Breathing Machine!

I ate lunch, took my usual 23-minute nap and when I woke up, I had a warning label drawn up for folks stupid enough to use a compressor for a breathing machine.

Here it is.

You’ve been warned!

PS: Hey, compressor manufacturers of the world, hit me up if you want to discuss a warning label deal.

PPS: If you’ve read any warnings warning goobers off doing goober things, leave them in the comment section!

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